They Do It With... - Chez Goodman 
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Originally compiled by Chris Morton.

- A -
A king does it with his official seal. Accountants are good with figures. Accountants do it for profit. Accountants do it with balance. Accountants do it with double entry. Accy majors do it in numbers. Acrophobes get down. Actors do it in the limelight. Actors do it on camera. Actors do it on cue. Actors do it on stage. Actors play around. Actors pretend doing it. Actuaries probably do it Actuaries do it continuously and discretely. Actuaries do it with varying rates of interest. Actuaries do it with models. Actuaries do it on tables. Actuaries do it with frequency and severity. Actuaries do it until death or disability, whichever comes first. Acupuncturists do it with a small prick. Ada programmers do it by committee. Ada programmers do it in packages. Advertisers use the "new, improved" method. Advertising majors do it with style. Aerobics instructors do it until it hurts. Aerospace engineers do it with lift and thrust. Agents do it undercover. AI hackers do it artificially. AI hackers do it breast first. AI hackers do it depth first. AI hackers do it robotically. AI hackers do it with robots. AI hackers do it with rules. AI hackers make a big production out of it. AI people do it with a lisp. Air couriers do it all over the world in big jets. Air traffic controllers do it by radar. Air traffic controllers do it in the dark. Air traffic controllers do it with their tongue. Air traffic controllers tell pilots how to do it. Air traffic, getting things down safely. Airlifters penetrate further, linger longer, and drop a bigger load. Airline pilots do it at incredible heights. Alexander Portnoy does it alone. Algebraists do it with homomorphisms. Algorithmic analysts do it with a combinatorial explosion. Alpinists do it higher. Alvin Toffler will do it in the future. AM disc jockeys do it with modulated amplitude. Amateur radio operators do it with frequency. Ambulance drivers come quicker. America finds it at Waldenbooks. Anaesthetists do it until you fall asleep. Analog hackers do it continuously. Anarchists do it revoltingly. Anesthetists do it painlessly. Anglers do it with worms. Animators do it 24 times a second. Announcers broadcast. ANSI does it in the standard way. Anthropologists do it with culture. APL programmers are functional. APL programmers do it backwards. APL programmers do it in a line. APL programmers do it in the workspace. APL programmers do it with stile. Apologists do it orally. Archaeologists do it in the dirt. Archaeologists do it with mummies. Archaeologists like it old. Archers use longer shafts. Architects are responsible for the tallest erections. Architects do it late. Architects have great plans. Architectural historians can tell you who put it up and how big it was. Architecture majors stay up all night. Arlo Guthrie does it on his motorcycle. Arsonists do it with fire. Art historians can tell you who did it, where they did it, what they. Artillerymen do it with a burst. Artists are exhibitionists. Artists do it by design. Artists do it in the buff. Artists do it with creativity. Artists do it with emotion. Assassins do it from behind. Assembly line workers do it over and over. Assembly programmers do it a byte at a time. Assembly programmers only get a little bit to play with. Astronauts do it in orbit. Astronauts do it on re-entry. Astronauts do it on the moon. Astronomers can't do it with the lights on. Astronomers do it all night. Astronomers do it from light-years away. Astronomers do it in the dark. Astronomers do it only at night. Astronomers do it under the stars. Astronomers do it whenever they can find a hole in the clouds. Astronomers do it while gazing at Uranus. Astronomers do it with all the stars. Astronomers do it with a big bang. Astronomers do it with heavenly bodies. Astronomers do it with long tubes. Astronomers do it with stars. Astronomers do it with their telescopes. Astronomers do it with Uranus. Astrophysicists do it with a big bang. AT&T does it in long lines. Attorneys make better motions. Auditors like to examine figures. Australians do it down under. Authors do it by rote. Auto makers do it with optional equipment. Auto makers do it with standard equipment. Auto mechanics do it under hoods, using oil and grease. ^Top
- B -
Babies do it in their pants. Babysitters charge by the hour. Bach did it with the organ. Bailiffs always come to order. Bakers do it for the dough. Bakers knead it daily. Ballerinas do it en point. Ballet dancers do it on tip-toe. Ballet dancers do it with toes. Banana pickers do it in bunches. Band members do it all night. Band members do it in a parade. Band members do it in front of 100,000 people. Band members do it in public. Band members do it in sectionals. Band members do it on the football field. Band members play all night. Banjo players pluck with a stiff pick. Bank tellers do it with interest. Penalty for early withdrawl. Bankers do it for money, but there is a penalty for early withdrawal. Bankers do it with interest, but pay for early withdrawl. Baptists do it under water. Barbarians do it with anything. (So do orcs.) Barbers do it and end up with soaping hair. Barbers do it with Brylcreem. Barbers do it with shear pleasure. Bartenders do it on the rocks. Baseball players do it for a lot of money. Baseball players do it in teams. Baseball players do it with their bats. Baseball players hit more home runs. Baseball players make it to first base. Basic programmers do it all over the place. Basic programmers goto it. Basketball players score more often. Bass players just pluck at it. Bassists do it with their fingers. Batman does it with Robin. Bayseians probably do it. Beekeepers like to eat their honey. Beer brewers do it with more hops. Beer drinkers get more head. Beethoven did it apassionately. Beethoven was the first to do it with a full orchestra. Bell labs programmers do it with Unix. Bell-ringers pull it themselves. Beta testers do it looking for mistakes. Bicyclists do it with 10 speeds. Biologists do it with clones. Birds do it, bees do it, even chimpanzees do it. Blind people do it in the dark. Bloggers do it with comments. Blondes do it with a Thermos. Bo Jackson knows doing it. Boardheads do it with stiff masts. Body-builders do it with muscle. Bookkeepers are well balanced. Bookkeepers do it for the record. Bookkeepers do it with double entry. Bookworms only read about it. Bosses delegate the task to others. Bowlers do it in the alley. Bowlers have bigger balls. Boxers do it with fists. Boy scouts do it in the woods. Bricklayers lay all day. Bridge players do it with finesse. Bridge players try to get a rubber. Buddhists imagine doing it. Building inspectors do it under the table. Bulimics do it after every meal. Burglars do it without protection. Bus drivers come early and pull out on time. Bus drivers do it in transit. Businessmen screw you the best they can. Butchers have better meat. ^Top
- C -
C programmers continue it. C programmers switch and then break it. C programmers switch often. C++ programmers do it with class. C++ programmers do it with private members and public objects. C++ programmers do it with their friends, in private. Calculus majors do it in increments. Calculus students do it by parts. Californians do it laid back. Campers do it in a tent. Car customisers do it with a hot rod. Car mechanics jack it. Cardiologists do it halfheartedly. Carpenters do it tongue in groove. Carpenters hammer it harder. Carpenters nail harder. Carpet fitters do it on their knees. Carpet layers do it on the floor. Cartoonists do it with just a few good strokes. Catholics do it a lot. Catholics talk about it afterwards. Cavaliers do it mounted. Cavers do it in the mud. CB'ers do it on the air. Cellists give better hand jobs. Cheerleaders do it enthusiastically. Cheerleaders do it with more enthusiasm. Chefs do it for dessert. Chefs do it in the kitchen. Chemical engineers do it in packed beds. Chemical engineers do it under a fume hood. Chemists do it in an excited state. Chemists do it in test tubes. Chemists do it in the fume hood. Chemists do it periodically on table. Chemists do it reactively. Chemists like to experiment. Chess players check their mates. Chess players do it in their minds. Chess players do it with knights/kings/queens/bishops/mates. Chess players mate better. Chessplayers check their mates. Chiropractors do it by manipulation. Chiropractors do it, but they x-ray it first. Choir boys do it unaccompanied. Circuit designers have a very low rise time. City planners do it with their eyes shut. City street repairmen do it with three supervisors watching. Civil engineers do it by reinforcing it. Civil engineers do it in the dirt. Civil engineers do it with an erection. Clerics do it with their gods. Climbers do it on rope. Clinton does it with flowers. Clock makers do it mechanically. Clowns do it for laughs. Cluster analysts do it in groups. Coaches whistle while they work. Cobol hackers do it by committee. Cobol programmers are self-documenting. Cobol programmers do it very slowly. Cobol programmers do it with bugs. Cockroaches have done it for millions of years, without apparent ill-effects. Cocktail waitresses serve highballs. Collectors do it in sets. Colonel Sanders does it, then licks his fingers. Comedians do it for laughs. Commodities traders do it in the pits. Communications engineers do it 'til it hertz. Communists do it without class. Compiler writers optimize it, but they never get around to doing it. Complexity freaks do it with minimum space. Composers do it by numbers. Composers do it with a quill and a staff. Composers do it with entire orchestras. Composers leave it unfinished. Computer engineers do it with minimum delay. Computer game players just can't stop. Computer nerds just simulate it. Computer operators do it upon mount requests. Computer operators do it with hard drives. Computer operators get the most out of their software. Computer operators peek before they poke. Computer programmers do it bit by bit. Computer programmers do it interactively. Computer programmers do it logically. Computer programmers do it one byte at a time. Computer science students do it with hard drives. Computer scientists do it bit by bit. Computer scientists do it on command. Computer scientists simulate doing it. Computers do it in ascii, except ibm's which use ebcdic. Conductors do it rhythmically. Conductors do it with the orchestras. Conductors wave it up and down. Confectioners do it sweetly. Congregationalists do it in groups. Congressmen do it in the house. Construction workers do it higher. Construction workers lay a better foundation. Consultants tell others how to do it. Cooks do it with grease and a lot of heat. Cooks do it with oil, sugar and salt. Copier repairmen do it with duplicity. Cops do it arrestingly. Cops do it at gun-point. Cops do it by the book. Cops do it with cuffs. Cops do it with electric rods. Cops do it with nightsticks. Cops have bigger guns. Cowboys handle anything horny. Cowgirls like to ride bareback. Cows do it in leather. Crane operators have swinging balls. Credit managers always collect. Cross-word players do it crossly. Cross-word players do it horizontally and vertically. Crosscountry runners do it in open fields. Cryonicists stay stiff longer. Cryptographers do it secretly. Cuckoos do it by proxy. ^Top
- D -
Dan quayle does it in the dark. Dan quayle does it with a potatoe [sic]. Dancers do it in leaps and bounds. Dancers do it to music. Dancers do it with grace. Dancers do it with their high heels on. Dark horses do it come-from-behind. Data processors do it in batches. DB people do it with persistence. Deadheads do it with Jerry. Debaters do it in their briefs. Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure. Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. Delivery men do it at the rear entrance. Democratic presidential candidates do it and make you pay for it later. Democratic presidential candidates do it underwater. Democratic presidential candidates do it until they can't remember. Demonstraters do it on the street. Dental hygenists do it till it hurts. Dentists do it in your mouth. Dentists do it orally. Dentists do it prophylactically. Dentists do it with drills and on chairs. Dentists do it with filling. Deprogrammers do it with sects. Detectives do it under cover. Didgeridoo players do it with big sticks. Didgeridoo players do it with hollow logs. Dieticians eat better. Digital hackers do it off and on. Direct mailers get it in the sack. Discover (tm) gives you cash back. Dispatchers do it with frequency. Ditch diggers do it in a damp hole. Divers always do it with buddies. Divers always use rubbers. Divers bring flashlights to see better down there. Divers can stay down there for a long time. Divers do it deeper. Divers do it for a score. Divers do it in an hour. Divers do it under pressure. Divers do it underwater. Divers do it with a twist. Divers explore crevices. Divers go down all the time. Divers go down for hidden treasures. Divers have a license to do it. Divers like groping in the dark. Divers like to take pictures down there. Divers train to do it. DJs do it on request. DJs do it on the air. Doctors do it in the O.R. Doctors do it with injection. Doctors do it with patience. Doctors do it with pills. Doctors do it with stethoscopes. Doctors take two aspirins and do it in the morning. Domino's does it in 30 minutes or less. Don't do it with a banker. Most of them are tellers. Donors do it for life. Drama students do it with an audience. Drivers do it with their cars. Druggists fill your prescription. Druids do it in the bushes. Druids do it with animals. Druids leave no trace. Drummers always have hard sticks. Drummers beat it. Drummers do it in 4/4 time. Drummers do it longer. Drummers do it louder. Drummers do it with a better beat. Drummers do it with both hands and feet. Drummers do it with great rhythm. Drummers do it with rhythm. Drummers do it with their wrists. Drummers have faster hands. Drummers pound it. Drywallers are better bangers. Dungeon masters do it any way they feel like. Dungeon masters do it anywhere they damn well please. Dungeon masters do it behind a screen. Dungeon masters do it in ways contrary to the laws of physics. Dungeon masters do it to you real good. Dungeon masters do it whether you like it or not. Dungeon masters do it with dice. Dungeon masters have better encounters. Dyslexic particle physicists do it with hadrons. ^Top
- E -
E. E. Cumming does it with ease. Economists do it at bliss point. Economists do it cyclically. Economists do it in an edgeworth box. Economists do it on demand. Economists do it with a dual. Economists do it with an atomistic competitor. Economists do it with interest. Ee cummings does it with ease. El ed majors teach it by example. Electrical education majors teach it by example. Electrical engineers are shocked when they do it. Electrical engineers do it on an impulse. Electrical engineers do it with faster rise time. Electrical engineers do it with large capacities. Electrical engineers do it with more frequency and less resistance. Electrical engineers do it with more power and at higher frequency. Electrical engineers do it with super position. Electrical engineers do it without shorts. Electrical engineers resonate until it hertz. Electrician undo your shorts for you. Electricians are qualified to remove your shorts. Electricians check your shorts. Electricians do it in their shorts. Electricians do it just to plug it in. Electricians do it until it hertz. Electricians do it with 'no shorts'. Electricians do it with spark. Electrochemists have greater potential. Electron microscopists do it 100,000 times. Elevator men do it up and down. Elves do it in fairy rings. Employers do it to employees. EMT's do it in ambulances. Energizer bunny keeps going, and going, and going . . . Engineers are erectionist perfectionists. Engineers charge by the hour. Engineers do it any way they can. Engineers do it at calculated angles. Engineers do it in practice. Engineers do it precisely. Engineers do it roughly. Engineers do it to a first order approximation. Engineers do it with less energy and greater efficiency. Engineers do it with precision. Engineers simply neglect it. English majors do it with an accent. English majors do it with style. Entomologists do it with insects. Entrepreneurs do it with creativity and originality. Entymologists do it with bugs. Evangelists do it with Him watching. Evolutionary biologists do it with increasing complexity. Executives do it in briefs. Executives do it in three piece suits. Executives have large staffs. Existentialists do it alone. ^Top
- F -
F.B.I. does it under cover. Factor analysts rotate their principal components. Faith healers do it with whatever they can lay their hands on. Fan makers are the best blowers in the business. Fantasy roleplayers do it all night. Fantasy roleplayers do it all weekend. Fantasy roleplayers do it in a dungeon. Fantasy roleplayers do it in a group. Farmers do it all over the countryside. Farmers do it in the dirt. Farmers do it on a corn field. Farmers plant it deep. Farmers spread it around. Fed-Ex agents will absolutely, positively do it overnight. Fencers do it in a full lunge. Fencers do it with a thrust. Fencers do it with three feet of sword. Fetuses do it in-vitro. Firemen are always in heat. Firemen do it wearing rubber. Firemen do it with a big hose. Firemen find `em hot, and leave `em wet. Fishermen are proud of their rods. Fishermen do it for reel. Flagpole sitters do it in the air. Flautists blow crosswise. Flyers do it in the air. Flyers do it on top, upside down, or rolling. Fm disc jockeys do it in stereo and with high fidelity. Football players are measured by the yard. Football players do it offensively/defensively. Foresters do it in trees. Forgers do it hot. Formula one racers come too fast and in laps. Forth programmers do it from behind. Fortran programmers do it with double precision. Fortran programmers do it with soap. Fortran programmers just do it. Four-wheelers eat more bush. Frank Sinatra does it his way. Fraternity men do it with their little sisters. Frustrated hackers use self-modifying infinite perversion. Furriers appreciate good beaver. Fuzzy theorists both do it and don't do it.

Copyright © 2004 David K. Goodman. All Rights Reserved.
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