They Do It With... - Chez Goodman 
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Originally compiled by Chris Morton.

- S -
Sailors do it ad nauseam. Sailors do it after cruising the seven seas. Sailors get blown off shore. Sailors like to be blown. Salespeople have a way with their tongues. Sax players are horny. Saxophonists have curved ones. Sceptics doubt it can be done. Scientists discovered it. Scientists do it experimentally. Scientists do it with plenty of research. Scotsmen do it with amazing grace. Scuba divers do it deeper. Sculptors beat at it until bits fall off. Second fiddles do it vilely. Secretaries do it from 9 to 5. Seismologists do it when the earth shakes. Seismologists make the earth move. Semanticists do it with meaning. Senators do it on the floor. Sergeants do it privately. Set theorists do it with cardinals. Shakespearean scholars do it... Or don't do it, that is the question.... Sheep do it when led astray. Shubert didn't finish it. Simulation hackers do it with models. Singers do it with microphones. Skaters do it on ice. Skeet shooters do it 25 times in 9 different positions. Skeletons do it with a bone. Skeptics doubt about it. Skiers do it spread eagled. Skiers do it with poles. Skiers go down fast. Skunks do it instinctively. Sky divers do it in the air. Sky divers never do it without a chute. Skydivers are good till the last drop. Skydivers do it at great heights. Skydivers do it in the air. Skydivers do it sequentially. Skydivers go down faster. Skydivers go in harder. Skydivers never do it without a chute. Slaves do it for the masters. Small boat sailors do it by pumping, rocking, and ooching. Smalltalk programmers have more methods. Snakes do it in the grass. Soap manufacturers do it with Lava. Soap manufacturers do it with Zest. Soccer players do it for kicks. Soccer players do it in 90 minutes. Soccer players have leather balls. Sociologists do it with class. Sociologists do it with standard deviations. Software designers do it over and over until they get it right. Software designers do it with system. Software reliablity specialists keep it up longer. Software testers do it over and over again. Solar astronomers do it all day. Soldiers do it standing erect. Soldiers do it with a machine gun. Soldiers do it with shoot. Sonarmen do it aurally. Sopranos do it in unison. Soviet hardline leaders do it with tanks. Sparrows do it for a lark. Speakers do it with pointers. Speaking clocks do it on the third stroke. Spectroscopists do it until it hertz. Spectroscopists do it with frequency and intensity. Speech pathologists are oral specialists. Speleologists make a science of going deeper. Spellcasters do it with their rods/staves/wands. Spelunkers do it in narrow dark places. Spelunkers do it underground. Spelunkers do it while wearing heavy rubber protective devices. Spies do it under cover. Sportscasters like an instant replay. Sprinters do it after years of conditioning. Sprinters do it in less than 10 seconds. Squatter girls do it with crowbars. St. Matthew did it passionately. Stage hands do it behind the scenes. Stage hands do it in the dark. Stage hands do it on cue. Statisticians do it continuously but discretely. Statisticians do it when it counts. Statisticians do it with 95% confidence. Statisticians do it with large numbers. Statisticians do it with only a 5% chance of being rejected. Statisticians do it. After all, it's only normal. Statisticians probably do it. Steamfitters do it with a long hot pipe. Stewardesses do it in the air. Stragglers do it in the rear. Students do it as exercises. Students do it on a guaranteed loan. Students do it with their students. Students use their heads. Submariners do it deeper. Submariners use their torpedoes. Supercomputer users do it in parallel. Surfers do it in waves. Surfers do it standing up. Surfers do it with their wives, or, if unmarried, with their girl friends. Surgeons are smooth operators. Surgeons do it incisively. Swashbucklers do it with three feet of steel. Swimmers do it in the lanes. Swimmers do it in the water. Swimmers do it under water. Swimmers do it with a breast stroke. Swimmers do it with better strokes. Sysops do it with their computers. System hackers are always ready. System hackers get it up quicker. System hackers keep it up longer. System hackers know where to poke. System hackers swap on demand. System managers do it with pencils. Systems go down on their hackers. Systems have black boxes. Systems programmers keep it up longer. ^Top
- T -
Tailors come with no strings attached. Tailors make it fit. Tap dancers do it with their feet. Taxi cab drivers come faster. Taxi cab drivers do it all over town. Taxi drivers do it all over town. Taxidermists mount anything. Teacher assistants do it with class. Teachers do it 50 times after class. Teachers do it repeatedly. Teachers do it with class. Teachers make _you_ do it till you get it right. Technical writers do it manually. Technicians do it with frequency. Technicians do it with greater frequency. Technicians do it with high voltage probes. Technicians do it with mechanical assistance. Teddy bears do it with small children. Teddy Roosevelt did it softly, but with a big stick. Telephone Co. employees let their fingers do the walking. Tellers can handle all deposits and withdrawals. Tennis players do it in sets. Tennis players do it in their shorts. Tennis players have fuzzy balls. Test makers do it sometimes/always/never. Testators do it willingly. Texans do it with oil. The Air Force, aims high, shoots low. The Army does it being all that they can be. The Energizer bunny does it and keeps going and going, and going, and going. The FBI does it under cover. Theater majors do it with an audience. Theater techies do it in the dark, on cue. Theoretical astronomers only *think* about it. Theoreticians do it conceptually. Theoreticians do it with a proof. Thieves do it in leather. Thieves do it when you're not looking. Thieves do it with their lock picks. Thieves do it with tools. Trainees do it as practice. Trampoline acrobats do it in the air. Trampoline acrobats do it over a net. Trampoline acrobats do it swinging from bars. Trampoline acrobats do it under the big top. Tree men do it in more crotches than anyone else. Tribiological engineers do it by using lubricants. Trombone players are constantly sliding it in and out. Trombone players do it faster. Trombone players do it in 7 positions. Trombone players do it with slide action finger control. Trombone players do it with slide oil. Trombone players have something that's always long and hard. Trombone players slide it in and out. Trombone players use more positions. Trombones do it faster. Trombonists use more positions. Truck drivers carry bigger loads. Truck drivers do it on the road. Truck drivers have bigger dipsticks. Truckers have moving experiences. Trump does it with cash. Trumpet players blow the best. Trumpeters blow hard. Tuba players do it with big horns. Tubas do it deeper. TV evangalists do more than lay people. TV repairmen do it in sync. TV repairmen do it with a vertical hold. Twin Peaks fans do it with logs. Two meter operators do it with very high frequency. Typesetters do it between periods. Typists do it in triplicate. Typographers do it to the letter. Typographers do it with tight kerning. ^Top
- U -
Ultimate players do it horizontally. Undertakers do it with corpses. Unix don't do it. Unix hackers go down all the time. Unix programmers must c her's. Urologists do it in a bottle. Usenet freaks do it with hard drives. Usenet news freaks do it with many groups at once. Ushers do it in the dark. Usurers do it with high interests. ^Top
- V -
Vacationers do it in a leisure way. Vagrants do it everywhere. Valuers really know the price. Vampires do it 'til the sun comes up. Vanguard do it ahead of everyone else. Vegetarians don't do it with meats. Vendors try hard to sell it. Verifiers check on it. Versifiers write poems for it. Veterans have much more experience than the fresh-handed. Veterinarians are pussy lovers. Veterinarians do it with animals. Veterinarians do it with sick animals. Vicars do it with amazing grace. Vicars substitute others to. Vice principals do it with discipline. Victims are those who got it. Victors know how hard to win it. Viewers do it with eyes. Vilifiers say others don't do it well. Villagers do it provincially. Violinists do it gently. Violinists prefer odd positions. Violoncellists do it low. Virtuosi appreciate it. Visa, its everywhere you want to be. Visitors come and see it. Vocalists are good in their mouths. Volcanologists know how violent it can be. Voles dick through it. Volleyball players keep it up. Volunteers do it willingly. Votarists decide to contribute themself. Voters will decide who can do it. Voyagers do it in between the sea and the sky. Vulcans do it logically. ^Top
- W -
Waiters and waitresses do it for tips. Waitresses do it with chopsticks. Waitresses serve it hot. Waitresses serve it piping hot. Water skiers come down harder. Water skiers do it with cuts. Weather forecasters do it with crystal balls. Weathermen do it with crystal balls. Welders do it with hot rods. Welders fill all cracks. Well diggers do it in a hole. Werewolves do it as man or beast. Werewolves do it by the light of the full moon. Weathermen do it with lightning strokes. Woodwind players have better tonguing. Wrestlers know the best holds. Wrestlers try not to do it on their backs. Writers have novel ways. WW I GIs did it over there. ^Top
- X -
X-ray astronomers do it with with high energy. Xerox does it again and again and again and again. ^Top
- Y -
- Z -
Zen buddhists do it because they don't want to do it because they want to do it. Zen monks do it and don't do it. Zippermakers do it on the fly. Zippy does it on his lunch break. Zoologists do it with animals.

Copyright © 2004 David K. Goodman. All Rights Reserved.
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